I recently shared a link to this Boston Globe article on my Facebook page, asking if people felt the same way about clutter, and if they wanted to DO something about it. The response was terrific! So many people are living with too. much. stuff.
I decided it was time for an Autumn Clearing.
Starting November 1st we will work on 3 spaces in our homes. We will clear out, clean, de-clutter and reorganize our way to more space and more calm in our days. So far, there are over 30 people signed up for this free program.
We are gathering in a private Facebook group to share updates about our projects, give eachother ideas and inspiration, and hold eachother accountable (yes, that last part can be a huge part of success).
Despite the non-winter weather (or perhaps because of it) my house has seen a lot of runny noses and yucky coughs this season. After my own turn with this winter cold, I found myself alone in my house for an entire Sunday. My sweet husband’s only instructions were, “Rest.” I did plenty of that. And gradually, as my energy returned, I felt compelled to clean the house and help those germs move on their way.
I cleaned the house in absolute quiet, at a snail’s pace, and the experience was nothing less than amazing. (I’m not kidding!) As I washed doorframes and polished balusters, I noticed every groove and tiny detail. I wondered about who had constructed this solid old Cape, and I thought about a family living here at an earlier time, washing these same floors. I thought about my own family, and the imaginary worlds my children create under the table or behind the closet door. As the afternoon light shone through my windows, I saw beauty that often goes unnoticed, and I felt such appreciation for our little place in this world.
While I may not have the luxury of cleaning in solitude again, I do want to try to carry this mindfulness with me each time I place broom to wood or rag to windowsill. Housekeeping as meditation, I suppose.
And I found the perfect inspiration during my friend Erin Goodman’s 10-Day Family Recharge earlier this month. Erin created ten beautiful days of ideas and encouragement for families looking to reconnect with each other and with what matters most in their family life.
Day One: Erin asked us to pause throughout the day to notice the beauty that is now. One of the participants, Annie, took out her video camera and captured a day in her life. But really, it could be a day in my life, or your life, I’m sure. Set to Elizabeth Mitchell’s “I’m So Glad I’m Here” Annie’s video reminds us that the beauty is indeed right now.
The start of a new year carries with it so many possibilities! I love the notion of a fresh start, or just creating a little more space in the New Year for things that are important to me and to my family.
In 2012, I want to create more space for connection to the people in my life—especially my children. I thought about the activities that we’ve enjoyed together this past year- painting, simple crafts, baking, playing games- and then I wondered “what would make it easier to connect in these ways?”
I recently had one of those distinct parenting moments when everything seemed to be spiraling toward crescendo, and responding to my daughter’s soul fever was becoming harder and harder for me. For all of the work our family has done to simplify our home environment and our schedules, I realized that I was still carrying a great deal of stress. The stress was eroding my patience. But where was it coming from?
I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. So I spent some time noticing the typical distractions that I have during a normal day. What are the things that keep me from being truly present with my children? I tuned into the “talk” going on inside my own head, and was amazed by what I heard. There was a running commentary about my parenting happening in there!
All day long, the voice of “the expert” was either pointing out the things I was doing wrong, or telling me what to do next and how and why.
Beginning with my first pregnancy, I have surrounded myself with information... beautiful, wonderful, helpful information that has guided me on my journey through pregnancy, babyhood, the toddler years and on and on. I own a tremendous amount of parenting books and books about play and books about art and books about child development. I visit nearly as many blogs on the same subjects. I honestly love these topics, and do have a great curiosity and desire to keep learning. BUT….
I was holding on too tightly.
The information was entering, but then it was paralyzing me. Instead of being present with my children, I was analyzing our time together. Instead of truly enjoying an activity, I was considering its deeper meaning.
In truth, I was missing the deeper meaning.
Just as our children can have too many toys and too many activities, we can have too many choices and too many paths to take as parents. Even those of us who desire a simple life, can find ourselves bombarded with information about what that means and what that could look like.
Inspiration is a wonderful thing. But it needs to be just that- inspiration. The wave of information needs to wash over us and inspire us and then move on. Special little morsels of truth and clarity will remain. They will inspire small changes that move us toward the life we want to be living.
When information is fueling a self-critique, it is no longer inspirational, and it needs to go! As parents, we need plenty of freedom to simply be with our children, living our own, autonomous lives together. We need to give ourselves space for creating our own magic, and having our own fun. And there are really only two places that we need to look for inspiration to do that: at our children and into our own hearts.
