My work: defined

In my Simplicity Parenting group, a mom recently talked about the fierce competition she felt from other moms from the time her child was a baby. How worried and alone she felt, when she really just needed friendship.

I’ve thought a lot about her words and about my own experiences as a mother. There have been times when I’ve noticed the dance that women do. We don’t often talk about it, but we do have a way of sizing each other up, don’t we? We want to impress each other with our cooking and our tidiness and our well-behaved children. We want to show our children thriving in their _______ (art classes; baseball teams; Waldorf-inspired homes!). But I think there is a fine line between putting our best feet forward and making ourselves feel better about our own choices. There is a fine line between living intentionally and trying to be perfect. So many women are hurt by these interactions, and left feeling alone, inferior and not good enough.

It seems to me, that on some level, we’re all seeking approval. But what if we acknowledge that it’s not approval that we need, but love and encouragement and support?

Isn’t that what lies at the heart of it all? Parents need love and encouragement and support.

We find ourselves at the helm, responsible for the health and safety, growth and development of these little human beings. They are completely dependent upon us. It’s natural that we would worry and research and question. But at the end of the day, we just want someone to say “It will all be okay. Follow your heart.”

I am a Simplicity Parenting Group Leader because that is what I want to tell you.

I believe in you and trust your parenting choices. You decide everything about diapering, discipline and desserts, based on what works best for your family. To me, the most important thing is whether you’re able to follow your heart.

Are you in tune with your heart? Can you clear away the _______ (experts; advertisers; noise; fast-pace; guilt; peer pressure) enough to listen to your own heart? Do your parenting choices reflect your family’s values? Are you parenting from a place that feels authentic and fills you with joy?

I am a Simplicity Parenting Group Leader because as much as I believe that our hearts will guide us, I know that parents need help getting some of the physical and emotional “stuff” out of the way. I know that parenting doesn’t always feel intuitive, and we can get stuck in between our vision of our family life and the reality of the moment.

I am a Simplicity Parenting Group Leader because I believe in empowering parents. You ARE at the helm, responsible for the health and safety, growth and development of these little human beings. From where you are, it is entirely within your power to make changes that bring family life in line with all of the values, hopes and dreams you carry in your heart.

My workshops
In my workshops, we start small.  Following Kim John Payne's book, Simplicity Parenting, we explore the four realms of simplifying:

• Environment- decluttering, opening up space at home for deeper play and family fun
• Rhythm- increasing predictability, adding more connection and calm
• Schedules- slowing down, finding moments of just "Being" amid all the "Doing"
• Unplugging- reducing the influence of the adult world, tuning-in to family

You will make one small do-able change at a time. We will celebrate successes and expose failures- deconstructing them, reshaping them, trying again. We build trust and create a space where you can open yourself up and let go of worry, or the need to impress, or the pressures of the day. Group members connect over the fun- and the ugly- parts of parenting. We practice leaving judgment at the door, listening fully, finding solutions… real parenting skills.

We begin to see that anything is possible. Even in this day and age, with the constant barrage of information, opportunities, activities, it IS possible to slow down and connect more deeply with your loved ones. Each and every day, you can experience more joy, more fun, and more peace in your home. Each and every day, you can add more meaning to family life. One little change at a time, your vision becomes your reality.

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** My next Simplicity Parenting 7-Week Course will be offered to parents of the Meadowbrook Waldorf School in West Kingston, RI. We will meet Wednesday mornings 9:30 - 11:30, from April 4 to May 23. There are 10 spaces available for this program.  Please visit My Programs to learn more and to register. **